I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real.....

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 18:35:30 GMT

HEY EVERYONE I HAVE A NEW LIVEJOURNAL.
ITS THE SAME AS MY S/N - SEXMESOHXC

SO YOU SHOULD ALL ADD ME

Paint me something beautiful....

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 20:56:53 GMT

WOW... The rain normally makes me happy, and I usually think its beautiful on days that rain...BUT today because it was raining I couldnt go sit out on the grass and draw/sketch like always I had to sit inside with hundreds of fuckers I hate. BLEH =(

I'm going to my friend Krystle's house, shes going to do my algebra, I took algebra last year BUT the teacher hated me and kicked me out of their class, basturd. After I'm done there I think we are going to get some more canvas' and paint... and paint brushes.. something "mysteriously" happened to my old ones. =(

Matt once again harrassed me more yesterday night... haha... him and his friends were like blah blah blah matt's going to kill your boyfriend when you get one... and like you dont know who you are messing with, lame shit like that but OBVIOUSLY THEY DIDNT KNOW WHO THEY WERE MESSIN WITH! =)

Apparently there is a show this weekend on saturday at eotl... so im guessing thats how im going to spend my saturday. good enough I guess, would be better if i still lived in Key West... I WANNA GO TO FANTASY FEST!!! =)

Well well well arent we the pathetic ones...

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 03:01:19 GMT

Ha-ha My ex whined for me back... when that didnt work he put a threat out to my next b/f...hes like whoever he is im going to kill him lol hes like 5'10 and like 85 lbs! LMFAO!

eRRRRRRRRR Justin said I was Tim earlier... I was talking to him and out of no where he was this is Tim isnt it?! i knew it, blah blah blah, with this sn and stuff. I dont know if he was serious... I hope not. I had hoped I wasn't so evil.

But anybody wants 2 know how my day was go look at in Frankies comments on the journal entry about her sucky day oh and I have new pics go check out my LJ or IM me

♥ Charlie

"One broken heart coming up."

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 22:05:07 GMT

Well I completed screwing over my last ex, he's crying now. Part of me feels bad but Matt wasn't worth my time... here it went

HIM: you wanted something?
sex me so hxc: Nope
sex me so hxc: Just saying Hi
sex me so hxc: Still pissy are we?...awww go cry.
HIM: im suprised you want to talk to me at all
HIM: after yesterday, you said that you never want to talk to me again, and im an asshole and all that. and you said you werent joking
sex me so hxc: Okay then...
sex me so hxc: Your right. I dont want to talk to you. Just bored.
sex me so hxc: Bye!
HIM: im not mad at all, your the one who got mad for whatever reason
sex me so hxc: Okay that's nice to know.
sex me so hxc: Because I DON'T Love you, I never did.
sex me so hxc: And you proved that you are nothing to me.
HIM:you are so mean
sex me so hxc: I'm not. I just don't love you anymore. I never did. Ha! And you loved me... after a week come on. It's me, you know me! What were you thinking... I mean, a week?! Anybody who gives me their heart after a week, who doesnt already have mine is BEGGING me to break it.
sex me so hxc: And you arent worth it to me.
HIM: im not the one calling people names for no reason at all
sex me so hxc: HA
sex me so hxc: Whatever you say
HIM: its true
sex me so hxc: OoOokay. Good bye.
sex me so hxc: It's over over now, you're as good as dead to me now.
sex me so hxc: Have a great life without me.
sex me so hxc: Bye!
HIM: thats impossible
sex me so hxc: i dont care, get over it, you lost me, YOU LOSE
HIM: see
sex me so hxc: bye...
sex me so hxc: BYE!
HIM: im not being mean dana
sex me so hxc: oOookay well good. I AM
HIM: and your sitting here calling me names
HIM: you know what
sex me so hxc: BLEH BLAH BLEH
HIM: /remove me
sex me so hxc: ha
sex me so hxc: ha

He couldn't take talking to me anymore haha he blocked me and took himself off my buddy list, all he had to do was say so and I would have gladdly done it for him. Hmmmm *sighs* Glad thats over I feel better, we weren't on the same level anyways, there is so much closure when the other person is hurt, he later called me crying, appologizing, ha-ha begging for one more chance. AS IF I WOULD GIVE IT TO HIM.

Oh Grrr! Frankie was supposed to come over, and chill with her homie. ha BUT NOOOOOOOOOO, Granny= E V I L! Jk... Maybe she does... Frankie says she does.

Amber my dear SCORPIO... You may hate me, I'm not sure, but I think you are hilarious. All I have to say to you and Frankie is:
"kiss me i love the bearded barley, nightly besided the green green grass, swing swing swing the spinning step you wear those shoes and i will wear that dress."

Ha-ha what a magical night that was at Waffle House... Those poor asian ladies now hate us! hahaha

♥ Charlie

Are you going to cry?! Huh-huh?!

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 20:15:46 GMT

Well... I was supposed to go see a movie with Matt G. today... But his parents, and shit won't let him he has to work on the car... grr.
But I made him cry today, and feel sorry he ever broke up with me.
We were trying to be friends... but friends hangout, and he could never hangout with me so I told him it was lame... And that I never wanted to talk to him again, and he cried, and begged me not to do that to him, because I mean so much to him. But if i really mean't that much then he would have never broken up with me... Everyone thought I was too good for him to begin with so I guess it's better this way. But so in the end I laughed and hung-up.

....Maybe I was too hard on the poor boy, 'cause he does play a MEANNN guitar!!

Ack oh well, he let me have too much controll over him, it wasn't fun. He wasn't fun. I need fun...
Hmm I'm going to go now

♥ Charlie

Ps- I LOVE YOU FRANKIE!

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 19:08:57 GMT

Aww My lil sis gave me my birthday card, and inside was a piece of notebook paper, and it read:

Dana,
You are my big sis, but do you know how much I love you, or how much you mean to me and I wish we could live together.
Love a lot your little sister Erica

And I was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww because she wants to be JUST like me, she is letting me cut her hair like mine, and dye it, she is only 11 though and she already has a Bright Eyes shirt I bought her b/c she LOVES conor oberst and wants to marry him! ha-ha I think I'm doing a good job with her, I dont want her to grow up and be a loser, I burned her my Postal Service cd and my Saddle Creek one.

It's awesome that she admires me so much, its great she looks just like me too! =)

I know none of you care about any of this... but it was SO cute! ha-ha

Being admired is fun, and there are these kids at school who want to be like me too... BLEH TO THEM they cant be... ha-ha only meh lil sis has that right.

♥ Charlie

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 08:33:56 GMT

Hmm the things I get myself into... Why do the bad boys have to be so sexy?! It's crazy... I know what they do... and I still think it's hot. Hmmm you would think something is wrong with me!

Oh and I have a new sn: sexmesohxc

Ack I'm sooo sleepy... *twitchs*

... To know you still feel, you only feel sorry for yourself.

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 00:45:26 GMT

I want to feel something...
Some kind of something. I don't care if it is love or lust. I want to feel it.

Happy Birthday TO ME!

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 21:37:19 GMT

HEY EVERYONE ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! That's right fuckers... ha-ha... and you all better call me and tell me how much I rock your worlds because you know I DO! heh.......... yeah

ACK Courtney needs to hurry her ass up and get here... We are going to run out to the thrift store... then I think we are going to head down town, get some coffee, then wander around maybe check out end of the line.... point is we rock so no matter what the fuck we do we will have lots of fun.

I got the hot life guards number today at school, he's not my type for a while he might be fun... who knows.... He dated this lame ugly girl who is like 14.......errrrrrr eww so I know I could get him whipped! ha-ha... ack oh well.

♥ THE POSTAL SERVICE IS THE BEST EVER!!

This is what boredom can do!

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 04:12:35 GMT

1.What's on your bedside table? I don't have one anymore, But when I did it was my clock, a glass water and a picture of a close loved one. 2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection? Umm.... The obsessive Drive-Thru Records! Lol. And the song "Kiss Me" by Six Pence none the Richer. 3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? Tea, or water. 4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? I don't think I would get plastic surgery. I mean I'm not saying that I wouldn't mind changing a few things, But I don't want to be anything more that what I truely am. 5. Do you have a completely irrational fear? Deep water... It's all the sharks. Drowning. And being on boats at sea, I mean its GORGEOUS and I love it but in the back of my mind I 6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? When I pull on my Labret stud, or when I start messing up my hair. 7. Do you ever have to beg? Yes... the time to get what I want with my grandparents. 8. Do you have too many love interests? There is 2 guys... I'm rather fond of but I have no chance in hell with so they can't really be called love intrests. 9. Do you know anyone famous? A few guys in semi famous bands. 10. Describe your bed. A big soft bed, with tons of comfy velvety pillows with a big pretty princess net. Ha-ha the rest of my room is tom-boysish... But I dont know I just have to keep my bed like that. 11. Spontaneous or plan? More than like spontaneous... But when I'm trying to plan something and everyone else is just like no no no let it just happen I go INSANE. No joke! 12. Who should play you in a movie about your life? I don't think there is anyone who could capture me. I mean some people you might say if would be easy but anyone who knows me.... It would be had, But I would have to say Drew Barrymore or Maggie G ( I know you put that courtney, but I admire her soo much and We have a lot of the same qualities!!) 13. Do you know how to play poker? Somewhat... 14. What do you carry with you at all times? Money, more than likely a cell phone, and a pen. 15. How do you drive? I don't, ha-ha I've never tried or really wanted to learn yet. 16. What do you miss most about being little? Climbing trees, Nap time, coloring books, rolling in the sand at the beach, staying up late with my flashlight under my covers reading my books, those cute little princess slippers that you can get at Walmart and stuff, My mom cutting the crust off my PB and J, Those cute little kid crushes I used to get (ha-ha even though i still get them) and just the innocense of being little, just having a care free mind, I would give anything to get that feeling back. 17. Are you happy with your given name? Yes... though I there are a few I wouldn't mind. 18. What color is your bedroom? Brown (wood walls ha-ha crazy like the 70s!) with posters everywhere! 19. What was the last song you were listening to? Postal Service "Clark Gable" 20. Have you ever been in a school play? Yes, I'm rehersing for one now, I've also been in musicals! AH FUN TIMES! 21. Have you ever been in love? Yes, this one time, with this boy who totally rocked my world. And when ever I see him I swear my heart skips a beat and I try to fight back the tears so I never show him how much he really mean't to me. 22. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? I try. I really do. But there are just those times when you have that feeling like things couldn't get any worse and you have given up all hopes of ever being happy, then you always find that one person who makes you smile again that one who gives you hope. 23. Do you think you're cute? Eh, Sometimes.... It really depends, some pics I see and I'm like wow thats a cute pic and others im like ewwy get it away rip it up and burn it! But all and all I think I'm okay, I guess I have my cute moments...lol if anyone REALLY cares that much which im sure they dont they could just I'm and see what they think...lmao 24. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? I try, But I won't lie. I'm a little firecracker and all someone has to do is light the fuse and I will blow up in your face... It came from having an abusive childhood, But I know what its like to have someone constantly be mean to you and take away your childhood, so I just try to be as nice and pleasant as I can, I just want everyone around me to be happy.

Hmmmm the name Brody actually sounds kinda nice..... =(

Sun, 28 Mar 2004 22:10:54 GMT

Courtney came over. And we went downtown, so she could see Mike. He acted like we weren't even there. It made me got really frustrated with him. And then Kelsey was on CCC and her and Kenneth were in the back seat of Chris's car while Mike in the front seat... And it made me cry because seeing Kenneth made me realize how much I still care for him... Unrequainted love is the worst thing ever. When I look at him he just looks at me with the most odd look, and I don't if it's the I fucking hate you go away look... or the I have something to say to you good or bad look. I mean I'm doubting I will EVER EVER forget him, I just remember the weekend that we spent together on Halloween, and how amazing it was because we were just hangingout in his house doing nothing at all, just looking at each other and being together. And his most amazing blue eyes. I miss being with him. When I was with him, I was happy. It felt right with him. It didn't feel like a little fling... but its all over I know I can never get back what we had try as I might. It's the story of my life. But nothing burns brighter to me than those gorgeous blue eyes.

♥ Waiting for Love is just waiting to be hurt♥

Josh

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 19:51:31 GMT

♥This one is for Josh.♥ Josh... It really sucks you weren't 1/2 as good as either of us expected. I thought you were great. And a great friend. BUT we see your true colors now... and as people say they were ugly. You made me feel like a HORRID friend... And I was actually worried that other people thought the same, but so many times I held my tongue around you and Court and all my other friends b//c I wanted you guys to be happy so I now KNOW I'm not a crappy friend b/c I'm not shallow, and I can realize that everyone Isn't 5'6 and looks like the PERFECT EMO BARBIE....... well wtf-ever. I'm just sad that we cant be friends... you seemed awesome hun. and like all your other friends... i really did think you were something special. oh and PS- I'm still rather fond of you as a friend and all...but Im trying so hard to hate you... because what you did was MEAN! .... BUT its hard... b/c you WERE so awesome.. =( Hope Her Eyes Once Burned is all good... (oh and for all you people who want to know more about wtf I am talking about see Killinghope 's journal. <---courtney)

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 18:15:14 GMT

WOW... Last night was great. EXCEPT for when I cried... for reasons I'm not going to put down here. heh. Well Fuss was so rockin' I'm really fond of them now.. probably the only punky type band I am fond of! BUT they were TOO cuute! ♥ and then Her Eyes Once Burned... All I have to say is wow... they rocked it! so cute. and Josh's little guitar things sounded really cute. heh. ♥

In addition we kinda boycotted a chunk of the show (not Fuss or HEOB) and Amber, Court, Mike, Kenneth, Jordyn and I all went to waffle house, where Mike put in Six Pence none the richer "Kiss me" over and over again 12 times. and we all sat and sang it... and Mike danced.. oh how sexy! ;) im so sure! lol and then it played 2xs and it made us sad b/c then they totally ripped us off and cut off the music and so he goes to the people that work there "ohhh you think you have out smarted me by turning off the jute box dont you?! huh-huh?! well ive got you" and went and put the on again! and we sang it and danced then went back to the show... FUN TIMES!

Kiss me out of the bearded barley.
Nightly, beside the green, green grass.
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step.
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
Lift your open hand.
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,
Silver moon's sparkling.
So kiss me.Kiss me down by the broken tree house.
Swing me upon its hanging tire.
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat.
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map.Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
Lift your open hand.
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,
Silver moon's sparkling.
So kiss me.

Oh well there is something I'm totally buggin out about. And people keep asking me about it and I just hold my tongue. I just want to be a good friend. I dont want them to think poorly of me. Or to hate me. These friends hating me is the LAST thing I want. =(
I hope it all turns out good in the end. Cause Ive tried hard to keep everyone happy... I think thats what good friends do. :-\

hmmmmm..... yep

"If you were a telephone, you'd still be off the hook."

(that little thing above was to Josh, Courtney and Brandon! hahaha)

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 21:31:54 GMT

So..... I got the part of the Mother in "The Day the President Called and called and called..." its the leading role *woot woot* BUT I wanted the part of Peggy in "A storm in the dorm" cause I ADORED THAT PLAY! ♥ Yep Yep...

AND OMG I DID THE MOST AWFUL THING EVER!!!
I told someone something that shouldnt have been told.. =(
Now I'm scared they are going to hate me forever and after they get back from their trip this weekend... they are never going to want to see me again... or ever talk to me for that matter

.........hmm all the worries that make a sane women loose it!

ha-ha

ACK OH WELL!

JOSH PLEASE DONT HATE ME! I ADORE YOU SO MUCH!
AND WHAT I TOLD COURT HAD NOTHINGTO DO
WITH YOUR FEELINGS AND IM SORRY BUT
WHAT I SAID I BELIEVE....

I just dont think that you guys are good for each other.... or that she is good for you right now... you feel you NEED to be in a relationship..... AND YOU DONT go and be happy and and for yourself first..... Please Josh... Just dont Hate me!

BUT on a happier note.... Dana and Courtney best friends for-fucking-ever bitches! ha-ha im jk YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 21:19:48 GMT

Yeah... So today I stayed home sick. Heh. I just felt bleh and so I've just been sitting around doing absolutely nothing. BUT I was happy because I finally got to see Dawson's Creek again. Lmao... I know, I know. LAME!

I need a boyfriend... that's what I need. Does anyone know any hot single emo/indie guys???

Ha-ha and even if any of you did... I'm sure they wouldn't like me! Lol... Sad but true. I'm not playing the poor me thing... I'm just simply stating the truth.

Well as we have been through...
Today= s h i t
As do most days.

Hmmm though I am looking forward to the show on Friday.. err soo far away.

♥ nothing takes away the taste of peanut butter
like unrequainted love ♥

-Dana